Tuesday, August 9, 2011

My brother had a stroke. One of his healing hands will not move. The utter terror of not being able to feel...

My heart just doesn't know. My brain is numb like my brother's left arm and left leg. It is hard for me to understand how a doctor with healing hands [he is a chiropractor] now cannot move one side of his body.

How could this happen? Yes, he had tremendous stress. Financial and personal. Yes, the clock ticks fast.Yes, expectations were high. No, he does not have medical insurance for himself. He couldn't afford it. Staff to pay, rent to pay... so many migrant farm workers and people who were injured while at work... he treated them long term regardless if they could pay or not. Though he helped relieve pain, he was never free from financial pain himself.

Now my brother is in intensive care. I shudder to think how his mind is racing about in half a numb body that will not respond...What all this means--Will he recover? What happens to his healing dream? All he initially said when he was bought in "Give me some blood pressure medication and let me go home!"

If he survives intensive care he cannot go home. He lost his home to the bank. A hospital bed won't fit in his furnished studio apartment. Later at the hospital he was garbling something like  "No county! No county!" The 'county' nursing home where the uninsured and poor go.

Somehow when the stock market spiraled down 600 points today, a black Monday, August 8, 2011, it seems a marker of the times. Our mother was born on Black Tuesday, October 29, 1929, when the stock market crashed during the Great Depression. Dreams crash hard. They bleed in your brain...


My brother's 'significant' stroke is the size of a half-a-dollar coin and is near his hypothalamus--indicated by the red arrow.  Image from wikipedia file:hypothalamus.jpg
Other links:
picture of Jill Bolte Taylor holding a human brain from wikipedia by Steve Jurvetson taken 2-27-08 http://www.flickr.com/photos/44124348109@N01/2330268706/
Jill Bolte Taylor, the neuroanatomist pictured above, suffered a massive stroke. Her recovery took 8 years. She describes the sensations she felt during her stroke in the video called "Jill Bolte Taylor's Stroke of Insight" which is at http://www.ted.com/talks/jill_bolte_taylor_s_powerful_stroke_of_insight.html [click on this link to view the video]

Say a prayer...


12 comments:

forestwalk/laura k said...

oh Jean...i'm so sorry to hear about your brother! you know that he...and you...are in my thoughts!

i know too well about the insurance thing...if it wasn't for my husband working a 'regular' job, i wouldn't have any either. (well, right now we don't have insurance because his boss is trying to find good coverage)
the whole insurance thing really sucks. one can earn too much $ to get medicaid...but not earn enough to afford it on your own! so we go round and round...

i've worked with many people who have had strokes...and my mother had a stroke...it's a long road...but he can recover. there's always hope.
such a stressful situation...and it just makes you feel helpless! your brother is a healer of others...he too, will heal...

i'm here for you....

Sandy said...

I am SO sorry to read this Jean. He sounds like he is such a kind good helpful man to others. It's so hard to understand why these things happen.

You must be so upset that this has happened to him. I'm wondering how much family he has?

The economy has been so rough on so many. One of the reasons we had to sell and get some relief from high cost of living.

I so hope he recovers from all this.

I wish I could help in some way.

ray z said...

thank you laura and thank you Sandy . you both have helped Yes indeed you have. This is Ray (Bills) brother. Thanks sis for sharing your Heart!! Love Caring Sharing from you ALL!! Has started the healing already. Tues evening CT scan shows Marked improvement the lesion area has shrunk from a 50 cent piece to a dime in the first 27 hours of treatment Thank You from the family starting with MOM and us 4 siblings.Your Love is so very much appreceaited by us all Thanks...ray

Sandy said...

ray, thanks for the update. I came here today to see if there was anything new - thank you GOD for the healing he is showing ...this is fantastic. My grandson's other gramma had a very serious stroke last year and she has improved to almost perfect...



My best to all of you and of course Bill...

crayzys said...

My brother is still in intensive care with slow improvement. Laura and Sandy bless you for caring. Thank you everyone for the prayers.

crayzys said...

Weaned off respirator, 8-16-11; eating soft foods and sat up for 10 minutes, 8-18-11.

Hallelujah!!!

The Amused Medic said...

Hey Jean...I came here to thank you for your wonderful comment... I read about your brother and felt so down... but I've just read the comments and I'm so glad and relieved. S.i.n.c.e.r.e. sincere Prayers for your brother... he sounds like an exceedingly kind person! He's eating.. that's great! :) Like Laura would say to me whenever I'm stressed: breathe! Stay calm.. if the clot's shrinking.. that's awesome news... All the very very very best... Hoping for a stream of positive news from ur side.. :))))

Sandy said...

Jean and Ray, wondering how your brother is doing...

crayzys said...

Simply--the doctors' opinion of Bill's functioning is strikingly different from the family's.

The family holds hope that Bill is requiring longer to heal and show the healing that he gave so freely to so many. Medical doctors look at normative data.

Bill is unique and is doing his healing in his and God's way.

So the family is just waiting for Bill and God. Only God knows.

Maybe Bill's previous stress level before the significant stroke requires more healing slow down time.

Thank you from all the family for your sensitivity, thoughts and prayers. We continue to wait and pray. Love,

Sandy said...

thanks so much for the update...will keep him in my prayers.

sigourette said...

It's so strange when things happen inside ourselves. Science 'explains', but comprehending the feeling is overwhelming.
It's good your brother has a sister who ventures to empathise and comprehend as such.

All the best

crayzys said...

Many many thanks to all who posted support and caring for my brother and my family.

Seeing the fragility of life just simply overwhelms. It is like you are trapped in a time warp or a terrible nightmare but
eight inches of medical records document a real life drama that is startlingly different from viewing a PBS documentary on the neuroplasticity of the human brain. The PBS narrator's voice keeps echoing in my head.