Gratitude is a Switch to a Power Source that Shuts Off Depressive Thoughts

Finding the mental power switch to recognize the miracles in everyday life can be an antidote to worrisome depressive thoughts. 

How to find your switch is simply being grateful.

How do you remember to have gratitude?

For some people, it is a connection to a higher power, an automatic prayer.  For others, it involves a switch we turn on to shift to a consciousness of being in the moment, where we realize that life is a gift, and every moment has its gifts. 

This shift of consciousness can be a meditative moment, an environmental cue like listening to music, taking a moment to see the miracle of life around us, and making a mental note of gratitude, connecting to someone who cares and supports you, or making a journal entry in a gratitude journal.

It can even be a tattoo you get with a loved one.  

Source: Double Arrow Tattoo

It reminds you that you want to let go of the depressive thoughts to a hurtful First Arrow crisis. The Second Arrow is your resultant reaction to a First Arrow crisis. Read about the Second Arrow Parable and teach your children this parable at Parable of the Second Arrow for Kids

Worrisome depressive thoughts are often from that inner critic that was formed when we were criticized or shamed in the past.

How do you maintain gratitude when worrisome, depressive, or self-critical thoughts come?

Share how you switch on your gratitude power.

Image of a toggle switch 

courtesy of Jason Zack at en.wikipedia, CC BY-SA 2.5 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5>, via Wikimedia Commons

Circles of Shame and Guilt from Self-Talk

  

In the five white circles fill in the name of the shame that characterizes what you feel most ashamed of. Examples might be Body Image, Judger, Anxious, Avoider, People-Pleaser, Loner, Pretender, Procrastinator, Reactor, Perfectionistic, Passive Aggressive, ...

In the blue areas write the words you tell yourself (self-talk) on the characterization you wrote in the white circle. For example for Body Image you might write, I am 40 pounds overweight, for Judger you might write, I never get it right...

Image from AnonMoos, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

Shame is learned

Deconstruct shame. Shame is learned in childhood when we lose connection with others and ourselves. Gabor Mate says such loss is perceived as our fault.

Shame manifests itself as critical self-talk. This criticism creates maladaptive strategies like substance use, eating disorders, other unsafe behaviors, or mental health issues like depression.

Shame is a feeling of unworthiness. How can you feel worthy? 

Learn to separate yourself from the feeling. Identify the origins of shame. Notice your shame as if it were a separate entity--something outside yourself. 

Ask yourself how this feeling of shame is protecting you. What would happen if shame didn't do its protective role? You can deconstruct shame by moving into the suffering you feel when you experience shame.

Approach shame. 

Move out of the trance of unworthiness. 

Believe in the healing power within you. 

Cultivate self-compassion.

 

Anthony Easton/flickr: PinkMoose, CC BY 2.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons

Here's a beneficial link to advice by Jason Wu:

Why countering shame can help build a healthy sense of self